Homecomings, Farewells, and Enduring Bonds during Cancer

Cherished Moments

I am on a flight right now. On my way back to Alberta from Ontario. I took the opportunity between treatments to fly back "home," for a few days. To bond during my cancer treatment. For practical reasons I will go through below, but perhaps also just to get away.

I wanted to see my Grandma, and I had a couple of good visits with her. I was able to see my aunt and cousin and spend some time chatting around their table, just like we always did.

Sisters

I spent some time with my brother and sister-in-law. I was able to cuddle my nieces and watch one of those nieces share her work and just glow from her successes. (She works for a caterer...check it out here)

I was able to see and hug my Dad and step-mom, who I miss so much.

I was picked up at the airport by my forever friend and got to see her beautiful family and mama.

I stayed with my sister, and enjoyed some much-needed bonding time with her and her new husband (I was force-fed very well, and she gave up her bed for me).

Even if it was for a short time. All of these moments were very much needed, for my mind and my heart.

A Celebration of life and Reconnections

I am so thankful I was able to be there for a very special man's celebration of life. This very special man we were there to celebrate I called Uncle. His wife, I called Auntie. Their Son’s I remember with fondness. Their Daughter was my Sunday school teacher, my babysitter, and as I got older, I was lucky enough to call friend.

My time to speak to them and enjoy them was short, but the embraces, tears and love that were felt, were worth the trip in itself.

I sat through a service that spoke volumes of who my "Uncle" was and how much he loved and was loved. My only wish is that I had been able to make it to Ontario before he went.

I’d like to think, that very special man was there with a silent embrace, saying in a cheeky voice, “so good to see ya good lookin”.  I hope he knew how much he did mean to me. As a child, as a young adult, and even now after all these years.

It just so happened, that because we were celebrating a very special man, many people who would be attending this funeral were also dear friends and family of mine that I have not seen in a very long time.

Many of these people who would attend, watched me grow up. They held me as a baby, saw me get my heart broken for the first time, prayed for me every day that I would grow up happy and healthy. They followed my life right from birth, to marriage, to motherhood, and though I was so far away, still were sure to know where I was and how I was getting on.

These same people have prayed for my brother and my sister the same way they had prayed for me.

They prayed for my mother when she was battling her disease.

They prayed for my father, as he watched her suffer.

They prayed for us and thought of us all after we lost her.

I was able to see a best friend. We were part of a group who were inseparable during our teenage years and early adulthood, who again, I have not seen in a very long time. Being there though, it was as if no time had passed at all.

I was able to meet my baby cousin's baby, making me accept the fact that I have actually aged, more than I’d like to admit.

I saw Aunts and Uncles, Cousins and Friends. Too many to name here, but they know who they are. I hope they all know they are loved.

Gratitude and Reflections - appreciating bonds during cancer

Something I didn't really realize, and not to take away from why we were there that day, was how many people have been holding me in their thoughts and in their prayers.

There have been times I have felt so alone. Alone in my battle and alone in my journey. My husband and daughter have also felt this. We have struggled. Being there for each other and trying to stay positive through all we are going through, but after these days away, I know now, I am not alone.

We may be here going through the physical challenges of it alone, but I know I am not far from so many people's thoughts and prayers.

I am not alone in Alberta. Please don’t misconstrue what I mean. I have family here too. They love, support and help me. Friends I have made that are sure to check in on us as often as possible. I hope they also know how that fills my heart.

Just for a little context. I was out of the country for 11 years. Many of these people I haven’t seen since I left Canada to move to Australia. So, it was even more special, and in a way, a little bit overwhelming.

I made the trip with my doctor's blessing. I knew I would be exhausted, and I joked with my sister that I thought I had just enough energy to make it home.

I have a treatment lined up again for this Friday and doctor appointments lined up for tomorrow. I'm refreshed and ready to face it.  I like to think that I took these few days for a practical purpose, but perhaps, I just needed an escape and to feel a sense of normalcy.

I hope those I did get to see were able to see that I am going to be okay. I hope that it gave them a little comfort to see me and that they now know I DO have this. They know I will make it out the other side and if they are reading this, just know that even if for a short time, the visit we had filled my heart and has given me a little extra fight that I think I really needed.

I wish I had been able to see more of you.

Just know, that though the distance has been far, and the time has been even greater, all of you are never far from my heart. xx